So, What Do You Do All Day?

It happens often, but usually I try to just brush it off, understanding that no one usually means it as an offense.  But sometimes it sticks right in my craw and there is the need to just say something. It’s a simple question and normally asking questions is how you find out about something.  Oh, but this question, when asked in the way I usually hear it, comes with more than just interest, it comes with inquisition.  This particular query usually comes right after the question; “What do you do?”  When the answer to “what do you do” is anything like; “I stay at home; I’m a home keeper; I take care of my family”, the question I refer to always follows.  “So, what do you do all day?”

If I told someone I was a lawyer they would not ask that question.  I have it on good authority from my university professor husband that no one has ever asked him what he does all day when he informs them of his job.  I can pretty much guarantee that if I had any other profession besides home keeping no one would say to me, “What do you do all day?” 

For the most part I have accepted this as life these days…that is until the other day.  A dear friend of mine – she is old enough to be my mom – asked me if I “had a big day planned”.  Wanting to say “yes, I always do”, I shared with her about my consternation of being asked “The question” when others are not.  Here is what she said to me.  “Well, you have to understand, when most women stay at home instead of work, they spend all day watching TV, doing nothing, taking a shower about four o’clock, making their families think they have been busy all day”.  Before I bit my tongue clean through I asked her if she actually knew women, or even a woman, who does that.   She said, “well I think I used to”. 

Remember now, this dear lady is old enough to be my mom.  This is something I would not have expected from her generation of women because their generation predominantly did stay home and care for their families, with support from the society around them.  No wonder it is so difficult to get encouragement in being a home keeper/home maker these days.

I was flabbergasted, to say the least.  I told my friend that I personally did not know any women who, having chosen the noble profession of staying home to care for their families, sat around all day watching TV and doing nothing.  Yes, there are some ladies I know that don’t work outside the home, yet spend a great deal of time away from home, neglecting it a little, but that is usually because they have been overwhelmed with the message that caring for their home and family is pedestrian  and simple minded.   I mean you can’t possibly have a brain and want to stay home, right?

I think next time I find out what someone does for a living, i.e. doctor, lawyer, teacher, dentist, veterinarian, etc.  I’ll ask;  “So, what do you do all day?”