Being Special Being Ordinary

We all want to be special.  In fact, I look around and I think it’s become an epidemic.  It’s not good enough anymore to have an ordinary life, to have a life whose reward is the knowledge that you work hard at what you do, you come home every night to your typical ordinary family, and you find contentment in the mundane. 

I do understand, I have found myself caught up in the same thing.  I mean I’m writing a blog right now for Pete's sake, having some sort of grand idea that someone actually cares what I have to say.  Of course I want to make a difference, I want to make my mark on life, but I can’t help thinking that if that’s the goal, if that’s the driving force, then something is wrong.  Because it appears to me that there is a whole lot of people out there trying desperately to be special and significant, make a name for themselves, and they’re really messing up their lives and often the lives of others.

Don’t get me wrong, being special, being extraordinary is a good thing.  But when we’ve taken that good thing and turned it into an ultimate goal, it’s somehow ends up getting twisted, warped, perverted, and even sometimes becomes toxic.  A very good example of that, I believe, are all of these public shootings we’ve been hearing and reading about.  This country has always had guns, we’ve always had schools in one form or another, we’ve always had public meeting places of various kinds, but one thing we haven’t always had is a 24 hour news cycle.  I can’t help but presume as these shooting seem on the increase, that many of the shooters (maybe all) were trying desperately, in a very deranged way, to make a name for themselves.  “I may not live through this, but at least they’ll remember my name.”  Maybe if we didn’t give them the recognition, plastering their name, life story and picture all over the place for days and weeks, they may not use this sick way to “be special.”

Another example that I see disturbs me greatly.  There are so many people, men and women, that have found being a victim makes them special.  They get attention, they get loved on, felt sorry for, and all kinds of other consideration that they otherwise would never get.  Please don’t hear what I’m not saying.  I’m not saying there aren’t victims out there and I’m not saying that we shouldn’t care for them and love them, comfort and try to help them get back to normal.  But what I’m finding is there’s a lot of people that want to stay stuck in their victimhood because they’ve somehow garnered from that, “being special”.  “If I don’t have something wrong with me, if I don’t share some difficult struggle I’m having today, if I don’t come up with some weird and terrifying thing that’s going on in my mind, or with my body, then I’m not going to have the attention of that person that I so desperately desire getting attention from.”  It makes them feel special.

We don’t have to make a name for ourselves to be special.  We don’t have to be the victim of some terrible thing in order to get love and affection.  I want to start something new.  I want to begin to recognize the ordinary people and start telling them how truly special they really are.  That person who goes to work every day and gives 100% of themselves to their job while they’re there, that’s actually very unique and pretty special.  That soldier who goes off risking life and limb to stand for freedom, not doing it for the pay or the pat on the back, you are extraordinary.  The police officer, firefighter, all first responders, you also do what you do, not for the pay, not for the thank you, but because you know someone needs to and it’s the right thing to do.  You are amazing special people. 

For the mom who decided her career would be raising her kids, who decided the name she would make for herself was mommy, and whose recognition only needs to come from the eyes of her child.  You are an exceptional woman who has made the best name for herself.  To the man who has decided that his family is the priority, who works his heart out caring and providing for the needs of his loved ones.  You have decided that being daddy is the most extraordinary thing you could ever do. You are indeed special.

I could go on describing ordinary people that are just tromping through life taking care of the things that need to be taken care of, not needing someone to tell them that their special, not needing to make a name for themselves, not needing to be remembered in posterity for evermore.  Because I think you know people like this and many of you are people like this. I'd say you are very special.

I kind of like having a boring life; well what most people would consider boring.  I’ve come to appreciate the ordinary rhythm of my life. I will never be famous, people will never speak my name with reverence and awe, but I think people will remember me, at least a few will, and I hope that they remember that I was kind, that I showed them love and compassion, that I was there when they needed me, that I was a shoulder to cry on, and one of their best cheerleaders.  Most of all I hope that they remember that in all that I did, all that I do, I desire to bring glory and honor to God.  Because you see it isn’t about me, it isn’t about me making a name for myself, it isn’t about me being special and unique, it’s about living my life every day, predictable and mundane as it might be, to honor God and to love others. 

 Hebrews 6:10  For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.

We Are Consumers

My Home

Hello again, it has been awhile.  This thing called life keeps getting in the way of things I want to do.  It is a good thing for the most part, but someone please tell me where does the time go when we aren’t looking?

For some time now I have had something – as my grandmother would say – stuck in my craw and have the need, well maybe just a strong desire, to share it with you.  It has become obvious to me that we are consumers.  When I say we it is mostly referring to westerners because that is who I am most familiar with, especially Americans from the United States.  And when I say consumers it isn’t definition number one; “One that consumes, especially one that acquires goods or services for direct use or ownership rather than for resale or use in production and manufacturing” that I am referring to, it is definition number two; “A heterotrophic organism that ingests other organisms or organic matter in a food chain.” Okay, not literally but metaphorically we are consumers, definition number 2…well maybe a little on the literal side as well.

When my husband and I got married (almost 33 years ago) his parents lived in a very nice, rather expensive neighborhood, the best in town.  They have since moved away, but we had the opportunity to visit this neighborhood a while back and I was shocked.  The homes were rundown, the once beautiful yards were neglected, and to be honest it wasn’t a place I’d want to live now.  Even my own neighborhood is disheartening.  We moved in to this lovely new neighborhood, with shiny new houses, decent looking yards, and smiling neighborly faces.  Ten (just) years later some homes are in disrepair, some left unattended from three outrageous storms, green organic matter growing on the sides of some homes, parking on the grass instead of the driveways has left deep muddy ruts that spill out on to the street.  It is as if some insect has begun to eat away at a beautiful plant.

This past summer, after having to clean up an exorbitantly messy garage at my mom’s house left by others, my husband was heard telling one of my nephews; “A real man leaves a place better than he found it.”  This is not the only mark of a real man that my husband has, but he was and is very right.  A real man, a real woman, an excellent person doesn’t consume everything around them, they leave a place better than how they found it.

Detroit

But I have been looking around my circle of influence and see people just consuming the life out of everything they have.  They buy a house, it’s lovely, and they are so excited and set everything in place.  Before long things start to break down, walls get scratched or scuffed, the siding gets mildewed, the excitement wears off, and nothing is done to fix or improve things.  Let’s face it, the second law of thermodynamics (order to disorder) is always in play.  But we don’t want to take the time to fix things, or improve things, it’s too much trouble.  We’ll just live here for a while, run the place down to the point we don’t like it anymore, and buy a new house in a different neighborhood.  Who cares if we leave the neighborhood looking crummy, we aren’t going to live there anyway.  Have you seen picture from Detroit lately?  There was a whole lot of consuming going on there and it is as if a swarm of locusts swooped in and devoured everything.

And I ask, when did we stop leaving a place, our home, our yard, our park, our city, our county, our state, even our country better than we found it.  I think of our founding fathers and those that came before us, taking a place with nothing and building an empire.  The brave people who decided to move west to a wilderness never experienced before, making it home.  Have you been to Charleston, SC?  Old buildings made to stand for a long time, cared for and kept up.  Do we build anything like that today?  Most things today are built to be consumed.  And even our relationships are being consumed then tossed away.  Friendships that last as long as I’m getting something out of it.  Or marriages that last only as long as my needs are being met…consume then move on.

Charleston, SC

I want to encourage all of us to think on this; leave a place better than how we found it.  Not just our homes and community but where we work…yes, leaving work today a better place than when you came in this morning, what a concept. This extends even to our relationships. Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  (4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  Instead of consuming everything in sight, using it, getting out of it all that I can and then moving on, I want to leave every place better than I found it.