An Option Is Also Provided...Behavior Changes

So I’m reading the manual for the HD dock for my new phone and at the end of the instructions it says; “An option is also provided to make behavior changes after initially selected”.  Wait a minute…I want that option for my life!

I was talking with someone dear to me the other day; we strayed in our conversation to something concerning her son.  He is an adult and has made some, shall we say, unfortunate choices in the course of his life.  Before I knew it I was in territory I did not belong and had no business being.  It only occurred to be after our conversation that even with the best of intentions; no one wants to hear bad things about their children whether they are true or not.  Please, can I “make behavior changes after initially selected”?

How about the times when a friend or neighbor calls needing help.  And it isn’t that I don’t want to help; it’s just that it going to throw off my schedule…"mess up my grove” (“Beware the grove”).  So instead of being grateful for an opportunity to serve someone else, I reluctantly agree, only to fuss, complain and angrily finish “my scheduled stuff” later on in the day or week.  Definitely I need to “make behavior changes after initially selected”.

This causes me to think back through the years, the times I groused at the driver cutting me off, or driving too slow, calling them “jerk”, while my young daughter watched.  When unkind words were said to me and my response was to lash out, not to their face, but as my ever observant child witnessed.  Those times of crisis or urgency when my first reaction was of panic and fear, setting such an awful example of the Christian I claimed to be.  Oh baby, I needed to “make behavior changes after initially selected”.

To be honest, I need this option every day, some days multiple times.  But although it isn’t as instantaneous as touching a couple of keys on a phone I do have something even better.  2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”  And then there is Colossians 3:12-14 “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  (13)  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  (14) And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”  Behavior change after initially selected…what a wonderful thing!!!

So, What Do You Do All Day?

It happens often, but usually I try to just brush it off, understanding that no one usually means it as an offense.  But sometimes it sticks right in my craw and there is the need to just say something. It’s a simple question and normally asking questions is how you find out about something.  Oh, but this question, when asked in the way I usually hear it, comes with more than just interest, it comes with inquisition.  This particular query usually comes right after the question; “What do you do?”  When the answer to “what do you do” is anything like; “I stay at home; I’m a home keeper; I take care of my family”, the question I refer to always follows.  “So, what do you do all day?”

If I told someone I was a lawyer they would not ask that question.  I have it on good authority from my university professor husband that no one has ever asked him what he does all day when he informs them of his job.  I can pretty much guarantee that if I had any other profession besides home keeping no one would say to me, “What do you do all day?” 

For the most part I have accepted this as life these days…that is until the other day.  A dear friend of mine – she is old enough to be my mom – asked me if I “had a big day planned”.  Wanting to say “yes, I always do”, I shared with her about my consternation of being asked “The question” when others are not.  Here is what she said to me.  “Well, you have to understand, when most women stay at home instead of work, they spend all day watching TV, doing nothing, taking a shower about four o’clock, making their families think they have been busy all day”.  Before I bit my tongue clean through I asked her if she actually knew women, or even a woman, who does that.   She said, “well I think I used to”. 

Remember now, this dear lady is old enough to be my mom.  This is something I would not have expected from her generation of women because their generation predominantly did stay home and care for their families, with support from the society around them.  No wonder it is so difficult to get encouragement in being a home keeper/home maker these days.

I was flabbergasted, to say the least.  I told my friend that I personally did not know any women who, having chosen the noble profession of staying home to care for their families, sat around all day watching TV and doing nothing.  Yes, there are some ladies I know that don’t work outside the home, yet spend a great deal of time away from home, neglecting it a little, but that is usually because they have been overwhelmed with the message that caring for their home and family is pedestrian  and simple minded.   I mean you can’t possibly have a brain and want to stay home, right?

I think next time I find out what someone does for a living, i.e. doctor, lawyer, teacher, dentist, veterinarian, etc.  I’ll ask;  “So, what do you do all day?”