You're Different...I'm Better

Since when did “you’re different” translate to “that makes me better than you”?  There is this whole political thing going on right now, with ideas and beliefs being thrown around left and right, so maybe I am a bit more sensitive to it these days, but I think politics is the effect not the cause.

Take a good look around at people; pair them up in any grouping you want, skin color, income level, gender, you name it, put any two people together and their differences will be greater than their similarities.  You will never find someone who thinks just like you on every subject.  And I’m thinking – at least where I am concerned – that’s a good thing.  

Now we do tend to hang around with people who are similar to us, in our thinking and beliefs, that just makes us more comfortable, and I am okay with that.  It isn’t a lot of fun to be continually on the defensive trying to justify what you’ve just said, or to have someone constantly questioning you or your motives.  But what I don’t understand; we seem to lack the ability to allow someone to think differently, not enjoy what we enjoy, find pleasure in something we deem a waste of time, without somehow translating in our minds, “I’m better than that”.

 

Okay, don’t read here what I am not saying.  There are certain beliefs that are based on The Truth and I will defend them to my death.  And there are certain behaviors that are not just unacceptable, they are wrong.  Again, I will always stand on those things being wrong and may very well tell you so.

I remember my husband telling someone “you better believe something strongly enough to be willing to defend it, otherwise it isn’t worth believing”, and I couldn’t agree more.  There is nothing wrong with preferences, beliefs, taking a stand, holding a ground, putting up a fight for a just cause, or defending the truth.  In fact I think more of us should be doing that.

Let’s just try to remember that our preferences, beliefs, and the stand we choose to take, the truth we know so well and desire to defend; those things don’t make us better than someone else.  If I have come to learn something, by way of research, instruction, or the grace of God, and you have not yet grasp this knowledge, it isn’t because I am above you.  And if you have discovered something amazing and I don’t see it yet, you’re not just that much better than me, we are just different.  You don’t think the same way I do and I don’t think the same way you do…isn’t that what makes life interesting?

"Foodie Friday": Ode to the Sweet Potato

The first sweet potatoes I ever remember having were ones my mom would make at Thanksgiving or Christmas.  They were out of a can, she would mix in brown sugar and pineapple (if Daddy wasn’t looking) and cook them in the oven until warm a gooey.  I liked them, sort of, but they were never my favorite.

Fast forward to my first years of marriage and everyone, including me, was making the “Sweet Potato Casserole” with cooked, mashed sweet potatoes, full of brown sugar, and a crusty pecan topping.  That was much better, but only because we had it once a year.

But sweet potatoes are so much more than this. These yummy, nutritionally dense, feasts for your taste buds, tuberous roots are more versatile than you might think.  Those of us who live in the southern part of the US like to claim this jewel of the potatoes as our own, but they are grown and eaten in many parts of the world.  It has been my pleasure these last few weeks to cook and bake some wonderfully delicious foods made with sweet potatoes.  I want to share a couple of recipes with you in my first installment this year for; “Foodie Friday”

Sweet Potato Pound Cake

From Southern Living December 2011

YIELD: Makes 10 to 12 servings

 HANDS-ON:25 Minutes

 TOTAL: 2 Hours, 40 Minutes

 Ingredients

1 (8-oz.) package cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup butter, softened

2 cups sugar

 4 large eggs

2 1/2 cups cooked, mashed sweet potatoes

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon or nutmeg (optional)

 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350º. Beat cream cheese and butter at medium speed with a heavy-duty electric stand mixer until creamy. Gradually add sugar, beating until light and fluffy. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until yellow disappears. Add sweet potatoes, and beat well.

2. Stir together flour, next 3 ingredients, and, if desired, cinnamon in a medium bowl. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture, beating at low speed just until blended after each addition. Stir in vanilla. Spoon batter into a greased and floured 10-inch (12-cup) tube pan.

3. Bake at 350º for 1 hour and 5 minutes to 1 hour and 10 minutes or until a long wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan on a wire rack 10 minutes. Remove from pan to wire rack, and cool completely (about 1 hour).

Sweet Potato Pound Cake Loaves: Prepare batter as directed; pour into 2 greased and floured 8 1/2- x 4 1/2-inch loaf pans. Bake and cool as directed

Sweet Potato Cornbread

From Southern Living January 2012

YIELD: Makes 6 servings

HANDS-ON:15 Minutes

TOTAL: 50 Minutes

 Ingredients

2 cups self-rising white cornmeal mix

3 tablespoons sugar

1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

5 large eggs

2 cups cooked mashed sweet potatoes (about 1 1/2 lb. sweet potatoes)

1 (8-oz.) container sour cream

1/2 cup butter, melted

 Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 425°. Stir together first 3 ingredients in a large bowl; make a well in center of mixture. Whisk together eggs and next 3 ingredients; add to cornmeal mixture, stirring just until moistened. Spoon batter into a lightly greased 9-inch square pan.

2. Bake at 425° for 35 minutes or until golden brown.

 Roasted Sweet Potato Salad

 4 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed

2 Tablespoons olive oil, divided

¼ cup honey

3 Tablespoons white wine vinegar

2 Tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary

½ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

2 garlic cloves, minces

Garnish: fresh rosemary

Coat a large roasting pan with cooking spray; toss together sweet potatoes and 1 tablespoon oil in pan.

Bake, uncovered, at 450 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes or until sweet potato is tender and roasted, stirring after 30 minutes.

Whisk together the remaining 1 tablespoon oil, honey and next 5 ingredients in a serving bowl. Add warm potatoes, and toss gently. Cool. Garnish, if desired. Yield: 6 to 8 servings.

Of course my sweet husband will tell you that there is not many things better than a roasted sweet potato with a little bit of butter and salt.  I hope you enjoy these recipes as much as we have.

The Doldrums of January

I have often found January to be the most difficult month of the year.  Yes, there is the new beginning it brings, but unless you happen to be born in January, it can seem to be the longest month of the year.  The days (daylight) are shorter, and it is all too often cold outside…at least where I live, so going outside to “play” isn’t a lot of fun.  Unless of course it snows, then I am out there for sure.

So a few years ago I decided to do something about the doldrums of January and figure out a way to make the month count.  Perhaps you don’t suffer from my lack of contentedness with January, or maybe you figured out a long time ago how to sail through this lethargic month, but in case you do and haven’t here are a few suggestions for making the most of the dreaded (at least I used to) month.

With the above stated “new beginnings” that seem to arrive with January it is a good time to so some most likely overdue spring/fall cleaning.  Yeah, I know, wrong time of the year, but at least for me it is a much better time.  In the spring I want to be outside with all the beautiful flowers blooming and the sun warming my face.  In the fall I also want to be outside because the hot weather has subsided and there is a crisp freshness to the air.  So, all those closets that have sat getting in disorder, collecting dust and clutter, are now being cleaned.  And it feels good.

I have several subscriptions to food magazines and I often use their recipes each month.  The problem is the magazines take up an awful lot of space and by the end of the year my cabinet is full.  In January I go through and pick out all the things we enjoyed eating, go on the web and make copies of the recipes to put in my cookbook/notebook (I have 4 large ones).  Then I give the magazines to a friend to use.  I have good intentions (every year) of doing this throughout the year and not waiting, but then what would I do in January.  Besides, it can be fun going through and remembering the first time my family tried a new dish, and sharing my magazines is really cool.

Because it has finally really gotten cold, I find myself looking in my clothes closet and realizing too many things I never wore last winter.  So it is a great time to get them out, decide if they are things I really want to keep, or find a great place (like Miracle Hill Ministries http://www.miraclehill.org/) to donate them.  Sometimes I can’t believe the amount of clothes I have!

I have a much longer list of things that get neglected over the year and January gives me a little extra time to get them done.  Before I know it, January has flown by and spring is just around the corner, calling my attention to things outside my home.

So now I am grateful for January.  I do love the trees, bare of leaves, silhouetted against the dusk sky.  I love knowing that it could snow any day now.  And I really appreciate the chance to accomplish some very important things that need doing in the doldrums pleasantness of January.

Road Trip

It is time again to make the 6 hour trip to visit my mom.  It’ll be good to see her and it is something I should do, but I have a confession to make.  Something I haven’t told anyone (except my husband) until now.  I am a big fat “fraidy cat” and an extreme “homebody”.

Most of my adult life I have not lived near my parents or in-laws.  My husband and I, along with our daughter, would always make time each year to take the (usually days long) trip to visit our folks, of course that meant “Road Trip”, and it was fun.  Actually it was just part of our life’s routine. My husband did most of the driving and we would try to enjoy the journey, not just get there.  We never minded, it was an adventure we could share together, and being away from home isn’t all that bad when your family is with you.

7 years ago my mother fell and broke her leg, to be exact, she broke her femur.  So for the first time in my life I had to get in the car, alone, and drive, alone, to my parents’ house.  It was not easy.  This began the first of many trips, alone, to visit and help out my dad and mom, and now just my mom.

I can imagine many of you thinking, “What”?  “How bad can that be?  I drive by myself long distances all the time.”  Well I don’t, and I don’t like it.  One of the reasons, let me just say it…I hate driving the Interstate!  I never have.  Lest you are pondering my need for more experience and exposure, I used to drive the Beltway in DC, I have driven across the country more than once, I have driven all around San Antonio, population 2 million plus, and a host of other places of extreme traffic.  It isn’t practice and know-how that I need, it is your understanding.  I can drive the Interstate, I just don’t want to.

This is where the big fat “fraidy cat” comes into play.  I am not a physicist and I can’t explain a lot about physics, but I do know what can happen when vehicles collide at 65 – 70 miles an hour.  And I know that statically I am safer on the Interstate than 2 lane roads, but it just doesn’t feel that way.  So I have found a different way to go to my moms, a better way, and a more scenic route, which actually is the same distance, and can be quicker if there happens to be an accident or delay on the Interstate.  I arrive in a much better state of mind.

I’ve had to make this trip, alone, numerous times now.  The hardest was the day after my daddy died.  I know my husband wanted to come with me, but he couldn’t.  Our daughter was recovering from foot surgery and someone had to stay with her and I needed to be with my mom right away.  (My husband and daughter would join me in a few days.)  It was hard being alone with all the memories of my dad, thinking of all the things I wanted to tell him, struggling to see the road through my tears.  My precious husband had filled my Jeep with CD’s of beautiful music that he knew would ease my loneliness and sorrow.  Yes, it was hard, but I had to do it.

The other thing I don’t like… being alone, going by myself.  That part doesn’t bring out the “fraidy cat” in me but the “homebody” in me gets really put out.  I’m not one of those women that need a night out with the girls, or time away from husband and home.  I love my home, not the building, but the place, the thought of it, and I adore my husband.  Time spent away from either of them is not a good time.

But, this is something that must be done; it is part of my responsibility as a daughter, and as an example to my own daughter.  I will be off to spend the week with my mom, to show her I care, to serve her in whatever way she needs, and to remind her that she is truly loved.  I will desperately miss my husband, daughter, and home, and you won’t see me on the Interstate.  It will be good to see my mom and it will be wonderful to be back home soon.

Can't Afford It Anymore.

Okay, I don’t want to beat the proverbial dead horse to death, but I just don’t get it.  It didn’t use to be this way.  And although I am not that person who looks back at “the good old days” longingly, something is broken and needs to be fixed.

My Dad and his mom, my grandma.

My Dad was born just as “The Great Depression” began.  His dad, my grandpa, happened to be a mail carrier at the time, so life for them was not as hard as it was for many others.  But it was my grandparents that would help when those around them needed food, or clothes, or other life necessities.  There was no government program (at least not at first) to turn to, folks just stepped up and helped their neighbor however they could and our country survived.

My Dad was an Airman for the United States Air Force.  Just as is true today, the military did not pay their personnel, especially enlisted, very much (enough).  Until my Dad made Staff Sargent he did not make enough money to support a family of 5.  He did not want my Mother working outside the home, both of them believing that she needed to be there for my sisters and me.  Food stamps were available at the time, but not in the same form we see them today.  But even if they had been my parent would not have used them.  Instead, Daddy took a second job, at a gas station, on weekends and some evenings.  It was hard on him, probably my Mom too, but they managed.

 

Growing up we didn’t go on fancy vacations, cruises, beach houses, etc.  Our “vacations” consisted of driving to my grandparents’ house and staying for a few weeks.  My sisters and I didn’t know any different and we loved it!  I never had a closet full of clothes, but I had enough.  I usually had 2 pair of shoes for the year, one for play and school, the other for church, it was plenty.

My parent first home (today)

When my parent purchased their first home, it was a very modest home; nothing fancy, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, eat-in kitchen, and a living room.  Eventually a “den” was added to the back of the house.  It was a home they could afford the payments on, afford the up-keep and utilities for, and they were proud of it.  The house my Mother lives in now, the last one she and my Dad bought (Daddy passed away 2 years ago), is also very modest.  It was a house they knew they could afford without stretching them beyond their means.

When my Dad had to be admitted to a nursing home, it was devastating, in more ways than one.  People tried to get my Mother to hide her assets, or suggested she divorce my Dad to separate their assets.  “Get Medicaid to pay for it” they said.  But Mom knew that would mean giving up all that the two of them had worked so hard for.  So she paid the $5000 monthly charge for almost 6 months, the fact that Mom even had enough to cover that expense is truly amazing, and evidence of God’s provision. It almost depleted her savings, but Daddy’s thoughtful life insurance policies help restore some of it.  Mom managed with no government help.

I know what it is like to have too much month left at the end of a paycheck.  For many years (to many to count) the only time my husband and I went out to dinner was when our parents took us, we could not afford it ourselves, I cooked, we ate at home, it was terrific.  We’ve never taken “real” vacations, although we did go to Yellowstone once, they just aren’t in the budget, be we do what we can find the money for.

When our daughter was diagnosed with a chronic liver disease, and especially after her transplant, many people told us to get her signed up for disability.  My husband and I thought about it (for about 2 seconds) and couldn’t do it.  We both said that as long as there was breath within us we would not ask someone else to take care of our responsibility.  We figured we could take in laundry if we had to.  And let me tell you, when the insurance premiums were over $600 a month and her medications were several thousand a month, we began to question ourselves (for about 2 seconds), but knew our trust had to be, not in a government program, but in the God we had always depended on.

What has happened?  Why have things shifted from one taking care of themselves and their responsibilities to expecting others to do it for them?  Look in the mirror; do you see that person staring back at you?  Next time you need something that should be the first person you look to for help.  If you are struggling to make ends meet, before you go off on who isn’t giving you enough, take a look at what you are spending money on, at the things you have come to “expect” that would be considered extravagant in many places, and first see what sacrifices you could make.  I know, it isn’t always fair, Joe Executive CEO is getting bonus money on top of his 6 figures and you are having trouble rubbing 2 pennies together, but no one ever said life was fair. 

I don’t long for “the good old days”, because I really like the modern conveniences of this day and time.  But take a look at your parents, your grandparents, see the example they were and maybe are.  Step up and willingly make some sacrifices to help yourself and others.  Can we stop depending on the government to be responsible for the things we should take responsibility for?  Whether we care to admit it or not, “their” money comes from each one of us, and I personally can’t afford it anymore.