Can't Afford It Anymore.

Okay, I don’t want to beat the proverbial dead horse to death, but I just don’t get it.  It didn’t use to be this way.  And although I am not that person who looks back at “the good old days” longingly, something is broken and needs to be fixed.

My Dad and his mom, my grandma.

My Dad was born just as “The Great Depression” began.  His dad, my grandpa, happened to be a mail carrier at the time, so life for them was not as hard as it was for many others.  But it was my grandparents that would help when those around them needed food, or clothes, or other life necessities.  There was no government program (at least not at first) to turn to, folks just stepped up and helped their neighbor however they could and our country survived.

My Dad was an Airman for the United States Air Force.  Just as is true today, the military did not pay their personnel, especially enlisted, very much (enough).  Until my Dad made Staff Sargent he did not make enough money to support a family of 5.  He did not want my Mother working outside the home, both of them believing that she needed to be there for my sisters and me.  Food stamps were available at the time, but not in the same form we see them today.  But even if they had been my parent would not have used them.  Instead, Daddy took a second job, at a gas station, on weekends and some evenings.  It was hard on him, probably my Mom too, but they managed.

 

Growing up we didn’t go on fancy vacations, cruises, beach houses, etc.  Our “vacations” consisted of driving to my grandparents’ house and staying for a few weeks.  My sisters and I didn’t know any different and we loved it!  I never had a closet full of clothes, but I had enough.  I usually had 2 pair of shoes for the year, one for play and school, the other for church, it was plenty.

My parent first home (today)

When my parent purchased their first home, it was a very modest home; nothing fancy, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, eat-in kitchen, and a living room.  Eventually a “den” was added to the back of the house.  It was a home they could afford the payments on, afford the up-keep and utilities for, and they were proud of it.  The house my Mother lives in now, the last one she and my Dad bought (Daddy passed away 2 years ago), is also very modest.  It was a house they knew they could afford without stretching them beyond their means.

When my Dad had to be admitted to a nursing home, it was devastating, in more ways than one.  People tried to get my Mother to hide her assets, or suggested she divorce my Dad to separate their assets.  “Get Medicaid to pay for it” they said.  But Mom knew that would mean giving up all that the two of them had worked so hard for.  So she paid the $5000 monthly charge for almost 6 months, the fact that Mom even had enough to cover that expense is truly amazing, and evidence of God’s provision. It almost depleted her savings, but Daddy’s thoughtful life insurance policies help restore some of it.  Mom managed with no government help.

I know what it is like to have too much month left at the end of a paycheck.  For many years (to many to count) the only time my husband and I went out to dinner was when our parents took us, we could not afford it ourselves, I cooked, we ate at home, it was terrific.  We’ve never taken “real” vacations, although we did go to Yellowstone once, they just aren’t in the budget, be we do what we can find the money for.

When our daughter was diagnosed with a chronic liver disease, and especially after her transplant, many people told us to get her signed up for disability.  My husband and I thought about it (for about 2 seconds) and couldn’t do it.  We both said that as long as there was breath within us we would not ask someone else to take care of our responsibility.  We figured we could take in laundry if we had to.  And let me tell you, when the insurance premiums were over $600 a month and her medications were several thousand a month, we began to question ourselves (for about 2 seconds), but knew our trust had to be, not in a government program, but in the God we had always depended on.

What has happened?  Why have things shifted from one taking care of themselves and their responsibilities to expecting others to do it for them?  Look in the mirror; do you see that person staring back at you?  Next time you need something that should be the first person you look to for help.  If you are struggling to make ends meet, before you go off on who isn’t giving you enough, take a look at what you are spending money on, at the things you have come to “expect” that would be considered extravagant in many places, and first see what sacrifices you could make.  I know, it isn’t always fair, Joe Executive CEO is getting bonus money on top of his 6 figures and you are having trouble rubbing 2 pennies together, but no one ever said life was fair. 

I don’t long for “the good old days”, because I really like the modern conveniences of this day and time.  But take a look at your parents, your grandparents, see the example they were and maybe are.  Step up and willingly make some sacrifices to help yourself and others.  Can we stop depending on the government to be responsible for the things we should take responsibility for?  Whether we care to admit it or not, “their” money comes from each one of us, and I personally can’t afford it anymore.